Tragedy

What if your hope is someone else's regret?

I think that may be one of the saddest ideas I've ever encountered. To cling to the promise enfolded in a single entreaty that the speaker prefers unuttered. Why do we accommodate change for ourselves but anticipate constancy from others? How can eight words see you through eight weeks?

I don’t want pretense. I seek truth. but I contend that it be solid.
And from there, I will build.

My First Post - 2nd attempt

Well, here I am. Upon entering this realm, I have a lot of philosophical theories about the blog-o-sphere but all are presumptuous and prejudiced. A couple years ago I recommended to my mom that she start a blog – as an outlet for her creative histories she so often enjoyed sharing in company. Now she’s advocating blogging to me as an outlet for my … something. I have a feeling my blog will be very self-serving but, hopefully, not narcissistic. If I had a career, it may become esoteric. If it were a robot, I am sure it would be feared for there will be no pretense here – my blog will know it is a blog and speak with self-awareness.

For now, I am approaching my writing as though in a diary – although why I would want to publish my diary is beyond me. The only purpose I can fathom is I have that very basic human desire to display my genius. We, each of us, want to be distinguished as unique and special. At least I think everyone does – but maybe that is a liberty I take at the expense of others and in defense of myself.

For those of you who encounter my blog by chance, I do not want to raise any expectations regarding my future discourse. I doubt this will be an astonishing, original, or polemic commentary on the world as I am selfishly concerned with those happenings that affect my personal sphere and choose to be sensible of but not dwell on the harrowing evils of life. Instead, I think it will simply be my musings – those “brilliant” contemplations, deliberations, images, meditations, notions, perceptions, reflections, ruminations, speculations – that I may have a notion are interesting or intriguing and might descry me as an intellectual. This online journal should give me the opportunity to mull over my opinions with thought and purpose enough to give me greater insight into who I am and what I believe and thereby fortify my convictions.

I consider myself to be a highly analytical and autognostic person yet exceedingly empathetic. I possess a prominent passion for language – linguistics, vocabulary, banter, spelling, translation – that never carried over to the classroom in favorable evaluation (with the exception of one college professor’s opinion). In other words, I love to write although I have never been met with commendation for my skill in that arena. But there is something bewitching and romantic about putting your thoughts, your hopes, your grievances, your dreams out into the void; and that the mere expression of those ideas has significance and affects the universe whether your thoughts go unheard or are taken to heart because you are metamorphosed in their formulation, conveyance, articulation.

Although this forum is new to me, I exist elsewhere on the internet – Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn – but those are opportunities to communicate within preestablished relationships. I am not there to meet new people (except perhaps to network for employment on LinkedIn) or accomplish anything beyond staying in touch. But here – here, I am of the resolution to convey, express, perhaps display. I do not know where this new role will lead me – maybe just one more reason to be on the computer. I begin with trepidation because I anticipate it will be daunting to maintain and I will never say as much as I wish. Or maybe I will never stop, no matter where I am or what I am doing, blogging in my head and just waiting to get back online to write it all down. Then, the transformation will be complete and I will have become… my mother.

First Post

My first blog post.